Whew!

Well, it has been 11 days since my first infusion and I am finally starting to feel like myself again. That one was a doozy!

When I did chemo via infusion the first time way back in 2005, I would be really sick, practically bedridden for a few days and then bounce back. This one is so different. Only a couple of times have I felt so bad that I had to just retreat to bed, but I have been hit with the widest array of side effects imaginable. They come and go with no discernible pattern. Crazy. A partial list:

-- Extreme fatigue
-- Headaches
-- Back spasms
-- Severe chills
-- Indigestion (and assorted other digestive issues)
-- Blurred vision
-- Hot red rash on face that appears out of nowhere and fades quickly like a giant attack of temporary rosacea
-- Bone pain
-- Mouth sores
-- Metallic taste in mouth
-- Itchy, sore scalp
-- Dry, peeling skin on palms
-- General out-of-it feeling
-- Red, itchy rash on neck (new today!)

I have been able to get through the bare minimum each day, but poor Todd has had to take over all household duties when he gets home from work each day. And of course, he does so willingly and without so much as hinting to anyone that he himself may be tired, stressed, etc. I thank God every day for that man.

Anyway, today is a much better day! So that means I should hopefully have a week and a half or so of feeling good before the whole process starts again.

More good news -- I love the oncologist I have been seeing at Emory's St. Joseph's campus. He and his staff are great and the location is relatively new, so it's not too crowded. The infusion nurses are great, too. And it's much more convenient, so that is all working out well so far.

And on the we-are-blessed-with-amazing-friends front, my house is clean, I mean really CLEAN, for the first time in years. :) Three angels, also known as Cecilia and friends, swept in here last week courtesy of the generous parents from my soccer team and worked their magic. I will be eternally grateful.

Speaking of grateful, we have also been blessed by an outpouring of food and restaurant gift cards! This is an absolutely amazing gift. We have a binder full of gift cards from nearby restaurants that we can use as needed. Many, many friends contributed money and instead of casseroles, we get takeout! (I, mind you, like any good Southern girl, love casseroles. But my family, alas, does not.)

And every day, new goodies appear. A bracelet in the mail. Brownies on my front porch. Homemade bread in my mailbox. A beautiful, meaningful hand-me-down wig. A prayer book, Bible verses and muffins in a bag. Dozens of "thinking of you" texts  and e-mails every day. You all sure know how to make a girl feel loved and I love you right back for it.

Please keep those prayers coming. Next chemo is Dec. 6.

Happy Thanksgiving and may God bless you as He has blessed me and mine.

Love,
M

Here we go again

In the words of our wise, wonderful and witty pastor, "Sometimes life sucks."

It does suck, but it is what it is. Dwelling on it doesn't change it. Doctors, drugs and prayer will change it.

We found out last week that my breast cancer has returned for the third time, this time in my lungs.

The spots are relatively small and have not been growing quickly, so we are hopeful that it can be kicked to the curb once again. Third time's the charm, right?

Starting tomorrow, I will begin a new treatment regimen of three drugs, one of which is a chemo. One of the non-chemo drugs is a new one, just approved by the FDA within the past year or so to treat aggressive cancers like mine. It showed great results, and even my oncologist seemed to think we had a good chance of seeing a complete response.

I'll do three treatments (all via infusion at Emory's St. Joseph's location), one every three weeks, and then have a scan to see if we are making progress. Then, even if I have a complete response, I'll have at least three more chemo treatments and potentially continue for months on the other two drugs, which fortunately seem to have mostly minimal side effects.

Unfortunately, the chemo I'll be doing is one of the harsh ones, so I will be losing my hair again. I really hate that part, not from a vanity standpoint (ok, maybe a little bit), but mostly just because I feel like I am walking around wearing a sign that tells people I'm sick.

As always, we have lots of support from our amazing friends and family. If you feel the need to "do something," PRAY! A lot. And help me not dwell on it. For me, one of the biggest victories I can have over this disease is to not let it affect how I live my life day-by-day. I still want to work, coach soccer, play tennis, pick up my kids, teach Sunday School, etc.

Love to all. Try not to worry about me -- I hate that part.

-- Faith makes things possible, not easy.